"Up in the air, over the bunting, all the beer in my mouth!"

"A pint, a pint, my kingdom for a pint!"

  "There was a time in Oxford when the sports practised where more rough than today.  Here John De Vere shoot first in the annual burp competition."

"It’s going to be a long Knight !"

"This contest is in tents!"

Someone  later will steal these famous verses... 
Earl of Oxford: "instead of shaking spears , two beers or not two beers? " 
Duke of Norfolk: "Only two beers???"

"Give my beer chugging contest opponent a straw, his visor is stuck!"

"through newly found historical documents and paintings...
the inception of the college game of beer pong...
can be traced back to The War of Roses..."

  "Chuggeth!! Chuggeth!!! Chuggeth!!!"

"Somebody get the keys to that guy's steed"

"I'm Richard the VII but I used my uncle's ID to get in the beer tent"

    "Now is the winter of our discontent for thine hast run out of beer"

"In thy foul throat thou liest for me thinks thou shalt hurl upon thine own pointy metallic shoes"

  "Wheezy was stunned when the audience, perfectly in unison, declared ' I feel a song coming on'."

  "The audience were genuinely shocked when the current leader in the annual blind beer tasting competition of the Fellowship
of the White Boar announced that he was stepping aside from any further part in
the competition due to his sudden remembrance of an earlier promised appearance at a field in Bosworth that very afternoon."

"I'm not really into melee but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night"

  "5 bottles of beer on the wall"..opps 4 bottles of beer on the wall"...........

Simon says... "hold up your left hand"

"Sir Sloshed and Sir Inebriated were becoming exasperated with the new class…….. "

"No.. no…no the answer is 4 not 2."

"look guys it’s really quite simple. You have five tankards of beer on the table….
you drink one (hic)……and you have four remaining (burp)…………."

"5 minush 1 equalsh 4………..Lesh me demonslate that again. "

"Another Saturday Knight Beer Fest between members of Oxford U's Tappa Keg and Phelta Thi fraternities"

"Wait! WAIT! Which ones are the alcohol-free lagers? I have to give the wife a ride home tonight."

"The best advice the knight ever received was to claim victory and retreat."

"I swear their champion has suddenly gotten bigger"

"I've forgotten am I the champion of the blue side or the green side"

"I don’t care if the froth rusts ya helmet Nigel, you can’t have a straw."

"The lucky winner of the War of the Roses drinking contest will receive a Tudor Sedan as their prize"

"So what's the Plan then?"  "Take Steed, Go to Tower, Kill Twins, Grab Throne,
Have a nice cold pint and wait 32years for all this to blow over"

"I say, can you be a good sport and have the Piss Boy bring over his bucket.......
and an adjustable wrench "

  "A scene from that 15th century hit movie, " A Hard Day's Knight"

"Working the knight shift knight after knight used to be dull before the ale supply was discovered.
The shift then became known as a midsummer knight's dream. "

"Live from Olde York................it's Saturday Knight!!!"

"The king had reason to worry about his army. 
These drinking games went on for days without end and resulted in so many sleepless, weary knights."

"John Howard : De Vere! This is an affront, lemon beer!!! "

"The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true! Der Becher mit dem Fächer hat den Wein gut und rein!"

"Oh come on chaps, you can't all put two pennies on Oxford to win!"

"a pox on the Tudors and your weak and watery welsh piss….."

"Begad Sir Lancelittle, methinks our soldier find our froth trimming tournament a trifle dull…..what ? "

"…Once more unto the booze dear friends, once more, or close up the wall with our English drunks…."

"And gentlemen in England now a-bed, 
                                                                                                    Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That drank with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

"Guys, cheer those two up to do this one more round and they'll be like:
For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's......, and we can stop the darn fighting ;-)"

  "I've lost track, does anyone in the audience know what round this is?"

    "Drink up Shriners!"

"A peculiarly British tradition....deciding who pays for the first round."

"Happy hour had just taken a turn for the worst."

"Oi ...did you Fart on ma Whitbread?" "NO, I'm Tessa Sanderson!"

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper.
I fart in your general direction.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

"The shoelace ploy had failed.....NOW who was going to pay for the round?"

"Drinking in a full suit of armour was tricky to say the least."

"Unfortunately the 'Kings Head' didn't accept VISA,
but it did accept the King's Head!"

"Why is there always a queue in the beer tent at festivals?"

"Mysteriously all of the beer towels had disappeared."

"Medieval pubs did not always equate to speedy service."

"It's just a scratch. I've had worse."

"The Pub was going to be renamed the 'King's Head',
but which King's Head was a bone of contention?"

"Tired of waiting to be served, the men at arms unsuccessfully tried levitation."

"Great pub, but the service was found to be somewhat wanting."

"A little known fact, IRN BRU was invented in a beer tent on Bosworth Field in 1485."

"Unfortunately, the uniforms the bar staff wore on theme nights were not always fit for purpose."

"The Medieval theme night did not go as smoothly as planned at the 'Kings Head'."

"I say old chap..what a spot of bother,
as soon as we stop for a tipple then all this riff raff shows up!"

"Steady men, let me further demonstrate to my challenger my knightly swing at cracking another crown beer."

"Don't stop us now, we're having such a good time, we're having a ball"

  "After four pints of Brains Best Bitter Sir Osis
quite liked the look of the damsel in the yellow and orange mini skirt."

"I don't know what's happened but I can't see my hand in front of my face."

  "Did you see what that seagull did in our beer!"

    "If only we were from the Jacobite range we could be drinking the bonnie princes Drambuie now."

"No, you don't have time to pee, we still have Four heads to knock off."

"It was turning out to be a busy night at the 24 hour pocket square laundry !"

"A beer, a beer, a kingdom for a beer!"

"This passing a mug of beer with my sword is not as easy as I thought!"

  "I thank you sir for avoiding sword and fire to prove in drinking talent
who really is the best but now i must take leave and humbly retire 'cause more than death and ruin,
i fear the alcohol test."

"I say old chap..what a spot of bother,
as soon as we stop for a tipple then all this riff raff shows up!"

"There was some concern amongst the archers when the Earl of Oxford
was put in charge of pre-battle entertainment but they needn't have worried.
He could organise a piss up in a brewery!"

  "It must be Coke it can't be Pepsi! Have you taken the Pepsi challenge?"

check out the other Caption Contests for extra laughs!



















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